So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
