My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
