OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize