one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
