all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I will pee on everything he values.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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