Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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