I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
