She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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