i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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