forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
