STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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