I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
