Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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