Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
