Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
