Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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