gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
