This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
