I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
