weddingsv make me drug and hornr
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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