perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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