i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
organizing the empties. That sober.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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