I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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