who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want her autograph on my taint
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
