You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
