I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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