I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
