I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
