we made out on top of his cat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
