your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
