It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
