well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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