Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
