i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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