is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
