you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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