I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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