they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
COCAINE IS GR8
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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