the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
