Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
