We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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