I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
