hotel room ftw
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
