my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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