Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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