people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
