Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone came in the potted fern
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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