She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
