On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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