i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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