i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
