I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
