Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
