..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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