I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
