Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
