Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
