Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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