Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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