Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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