What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
