...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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