My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
