can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dignity is for republicans.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
