Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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