he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
people are starting to question the shark bite story
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize