yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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