oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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