I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
