someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
